Thursday, September 10, 2009

jasper beach

I need a new hip flexor, this one sucks

Oof, long day. I don't know why, but there seems to be some sort of correlation between time spent in car with mom and stress levels. If I were to graph it, it would probably be a parabola or maybe even a sine wave.
So mom picked me up right as my favorite B day class, photo, was starting (actually, overall my schedule is pretty fucking sweet even on B days) which I totally don't blame her for but still was dissappointing, then we drove 80 minutes to a tourist town I'd never been to before, spent 30 minutes waiting for an orthodontist appointment (in a mega small, mega crowded building that looked like some hicks 30x20 house that had been refitted with old dentist equipment), spent ten minutes hearing that, surprise! my teeth suck, and then got really frustrated trying to explain to my mom this whole business with how my dad wanted to do the braces. Which just got really, really shitty and my mom freaked out at me. Augh.
I wanted to reconcile our problems of today, so we went to a nice beach and cooled down for maybe an hour or so while some black students from Sumner high flew kites and generally seemed to enjoy themselves. I gave her her space, snapped some pics, finished my latin homework and tried to avoid the surprisingly cold winds, which came in off of a large bay. From what I can tell, ocean currents were being swept around this island that was two miles offshore and had degraded whatever soft stone had formed in large quantities (im guessing here) to the point where what used to be cliffs or maybe a small mountain was a bay, flanked by cliffs and filled with medium sized, very smooth, very monotone rocks. The rocks were easily carried by strong waves and winds, so basically a sea wall and dunes had been formed. It dispersed the wind quite nicely on the backside, but on the ocean facing side it was rather chilly.

on the way home, I asked my mom to tell me her life story. It was a lot more Huckleberry Finn and cliched then I expected it to be. It made me draw a lot of conclusions about how I'm going to spend the next 12 years of my life and how I'm going to raise a family.

my legs are very stiff from being in the car for four hours, and my left hip flexor is knotted or something and is very uncomfortable.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Was That "We Are Your Friends"?

I saw an ex-girlfriend today. I never see my ex-girlfriends.
Today had already been pretty shitty by noon; Mom woke me up early to clean out the garage, which sucked really hard because this was the first comfortable sleep I'd had in a while. I abstained from this conscripted labor as much as possible and instead finished a Marvel adaption of Moby Dick (which was pretty decent) and then went about reading some other books on my ipod. I've been depressed for the past couple of days (with a few exceptions, like some strong pride with my 1:26 10 mile run which is awesome for a myriad of reasons I won't bore you with) so doing anything that didn't involve a couch or an ipod was pretty unappealing to me. Reluctantly I got in the truck and did my best to not get mad or get anyone mad in the 15 minute ride to it, but alas, mom snapped at me about running shoes.
At the dump, my mother proceeded to: cut off several people with the uHaul: be awkwardly friendly towards the incredibly depressed looking trash guy who never said a word and moved as little as possible: almost smash her mirror off on another truck, who honked at her as I yelled at her to stop: complained the someone had honked at her in order to prevent property damage: threw some wood in the metal pile: talked to people in f

Fuck it. I'm not finishing this post. I don't want to remember this day.
Nothing good will come of it.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Once again, trying to make more regular and less depressing posts.
Basically I'll just post things too long for twitter but too personal for facebook (god thats so lame to write)
I've been running 20-25 mile weeks all summer and my feet are starting to show it (I mean, if you ignore the other, more significant changes in my body). I have a massive blister on the outside of my big toe that I popped and drained and peeled and now it is pink and disgusting like veal, two spots on the bottom of the same foot that were just callouses that I peeled and now hurt like fuck, some less serious stuff on my other foot and oh yeah my pinky toenail might fall off.
Still, I really love running. It's changed me a lot...
Its weird to think about the person who I used to be.
So much hate, so much sadness; so little cause, so much effect.
Anyways I'm doing a lot better this year. I'm thoroughly satisfied with Obama's performance so far, and I don't think that you could hope for this amount of reform to take place more quickly in a democracy or in a time of relative-ease. I'm hoping he'll do an admirable job of fixing up this country before 2012, get re-elected, and then re-focus his efforts to re-establish our country as a world leader (in an un-imperialistic way). Ignore all those improper verb tenses.
I'm finally getting to take classes I like and have interest in - music theory and photo look promising, Latin might have its moments since it's packed to the brim with chicks, advanced math has literally almost all of my friends in it, I have the time to do advanced fitness training in the spring and I have senior release at the end of the day for the second half of the year.

Theres a Thom Yorke version of Videotape that I'm really loving right now, the Live From The Basement version. Theres no synth effects and the acoustic piano sounds very nice (a little shallow in the bass, but that might be these headphones). Thom plays with a lot of bluesy vigor, and sings an upbeat melody during the outro of the song, making it overall a lot less bleak. The best parts of the song (the lyrics and piano playing) are well preserved live, and without any of the added effects it seems to move more nicely. It still reminds me of sad times, but it doesn't re-create those sad feelings in me, it just lets me look at them from a distance.

Of course, some things don't change. My mothers mood swings are still very frustrating, especially since we always seem to be on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. I don't understand why she can't just shut up and deal with it in her head until something triggers a change; or on the other hand, why she can't just come out and flatly say whats bothering her, why, and what can change for the better. Either solution is preferable to her snapping at me because the trash lid is on wrong or asking me a bunch of awkward, vague and roundabout questions.